Down  The Rabbit Hole
~ BLOG ~

Too Overwhelmed. OTT.... EVERYTHING. EVER. That's what it feels like. And the CHAOS, the Terrifying CHAOS... The OVERWHELMING amount of things that need to be DONE...

The Lindsey Stirling Effect continues.... Been re-mixing THREE different songs, trying the Dance Music I used to be too overwhelmed with to try and manage much of before. But I've been listening to Lindsey's backings, how they're simple yet complex, and Today's tech means you can HEAR how the tracks and sounds are used, and how they sit - so I've been able to grasp the elements that have been used in making the backings for her Violin melodies. She uses a MacBook to make the main songs and then records her violin/s over it, effectively the same way a singer works their own music and how...

MEGA MAJOR BlackOuts are just a CONSTANT fixture in my life now... And I'm rather skimming the edges of losing the will and battle to give any kind of a Rat's Ass About Even EXISTING Anymore. For What? Nothing... Literally Nothing? Just hollow NOTHING...

Having MAJOR MEGA BlackOuts Today... One not long a go from about 11:10pm to just minutes before 12am... 

Looking back at all the entries in my Journey Journal for this month... I have spent it ALL in Severe BlackOuts. Day after day, constantly almost each entry details how I've been struggling under BlackOuts and unable to do anything, or even function in any way, at all...

I'm no better but at least I don't seem to be any worse...? Spasms in legs went yesterday - now they're even more Useless than usual, and I can't do almost ANYTHING, because they're not back.

DISTRICT NURSES FAILING TO ATTEND STANDING APPOINTMENT & FAIL TO ATTEND A CATHETER EMERGENCY TO SOMEONE WITH HYDROCEPHALUS

Another bad night with Nightmares that caused my jaw to clench SO hard my teeth are killing me - hasn't happened in a while, but seems it's back now, with it being the second or third time in a row now...