Down  The Rabbit Hole
~ BLOG ~

In too much PAIN. I am BEYOND Far Too EXHAUSTED & FATIGUED.... I don't know what I'm doing, or what I should be doing -- given the circumstances.... But if you really want to respect those -- there's really not much a CAN do.

This morning I could barely move. I barely slept - last night was RIDICULOUSLY AWUL - and was unable to wake up properly today...I am NOT OK with what is happening here - and it makes me feel SO MUCH WORSE that it IS SO DIFFICULT for me to manage -- because "ALL" I had to do was go downstairs and wait for a delivery person to turn up;.

If you're going to be Autistic, don't have a family that will automatically Blame You For Everything. That will tell everyone to Kingdom Come that you're "trouble", "broken", "problematic" and/or "have issues"...

The PAIN in my Lumbar Spine has now become HORRENDOUS... It's actually making it difficult to breathe, let alone move..... And I'm maxed out on some serious painkilllers - ones badass enough to keep my Fibro Pain under control.

Too Overwhelmed. OTT.... EVERYTHING. EVER. That's what it feels like. And the CHAOS, the Terrifying CHAOS... The OVERWHELMING amount of things that need to be DONE...

The Lindsey Stirling Effect continues.... Been re-mixing THREE different songs, trying the Dance Music I used to be too overwhelmed with to try and manage much of before. But I've been listening to Lindsey's backings, how they're simple yet complex, and Today's tech means you can HEAR how the tracks and sounds are used, and how they sit - so I've been able to grasp the elements that have been used in making the backings for her Violin melodies. She uses a MacBook to make the main songs and then records her violin/s over it, effectively the same way a singer works their own music and how...