Down  The Rabbit Hole
~ BLOG ~



8 January 2025

Autistic Girls

It's not  fault we were told lies about how "Crazy" we were, back when, instead of properly diagnosed. Living with the Stigma and backlash of being labelled with Severe Psychological/Mental Health Illnesses meant we missed out on being properly diagnosed and having a semi-decent life - instead of harrowing torment & CPTSD.

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6 January 2025

Burnout Hell

This morning has been UTTERLY AWFUL - COLD, BEING ILL, FIBRO-FLAREUP, MEGA BURNOUT SINKING RIGHT INTO MY SOUL AND MY BONES, PARESTHESIA... JUST ANOTHER HORRIBLE DAY OF HELL....

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10 December 2024

Storms Aftermath

It's 1039mb now, FFS...!?! No Wonder I feel like I'm trapped in an static ball with electrifying hedgehog Spikes Attached and On +10,000......

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8 December 2024

Back Pain Is Back...

The PAIN in my Lumbar Spine has now become HORRENDOUS... It's actually making it difficult to breathe, let alone move..... And I'm maxed out on some serious painkilllers - ones badass enough to keep my Fibro Pain under control.

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2 December 2024
26 November 2024

Music Remixing

The Lindsey Stirling Effect continues.... Been re-mixing THREE different songs, trying the Dance Music I used to be too overwhelmed with to try and manage much of before. But I've been listening to Lindsey's backings, how they're simple yet complex, and Today's tech means you can HEAR how the tracks and sounds are used, and how they sit - so I've been able to grasp the elements that have been used in making the backings for her Violin melodies. She uses a MacBook to make the main songs and then records her violin/s over it, effectively the same way a singer works their own music and how...

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9 November 2024
8 June 2024

Blackouts & Burnouts

MEGA MAJOR BlackOuts are just a CONSTANT fixture in my life now... And I'm rather skimming the edges of losing the will and battle to give any kind of a Rat's Ass About Even EXISTING Anymore. For What? Nothing... Literally Nothing? Just hollow NOTHING...

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1 April 2024
24 March 2024

Blackout Mode & Aspirating

Looking back at all the entries in my Journey Journal for this month... I have spent it ALL in Severe BlackOuts. Day after day, constantly almost each entry details how I've been struggling under BlackOuts and unable to do anything, or even function in any way, at all...

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18 March 2024

PTSD of a Different Kind

Just came out of Major BlackOut ... Waiting for Someone to call from GP surgery - Supposedly the Dr is supposed to be calling me re the FND "Dossier" I [finally] sent to them, but I really have NO Interest in actually discussing it... I'm too exhausted, too overwhelmed and TOO GODS-DAMNED FREAKING DONE after the last few weeks and especially the past few days...

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17 March 2024

Aftermath

I'm no better but at least I don't seem to be any worse...? Spasms in legs went yesterday - now they're even more Useless than usual, and I can't do almost ANYTHING, because they're not back.

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