Down  The Rabbit Hole
~ BLOG ~

Currently in a state of Internal Catatonia… Run dry by the “politics” of the NHS…. and of being controlled by Everything But Myself — despite constant and varied BIG Efforts Upon Efforts of trying to make it otherwise… there seems to be nothing I am able to do to control the constantly failing body that I have, or what other people insist on doing despite everything from asking nicely to outright Demanding otherwise.

How is it that the NHS has got it SO Bad WRONG, that even things I DESPERATELY NEED to have checked out now — because they’re REALLY Getting Worse, and... Well. Just a little bit Super Concerning — are getting totally, pathologically Ignored by Me now...??

There is ONLY CHAOS inside my head. Around me. Inside Me.

It’s YULE. The Longest Night. The Darkest Time… To be followed by the growing light and hope for the Springtime. For me… It’s Just The Darkest Times & The Darkest Night, full stop.

I’ve been pushed from PILLAR TO POST by the Health & Social Care System This ENTIRE YEAR… Mainly by the NHS, though. Forced into demanded & non-negotiated pre-booked appointments, all over EVERYWHERE. We’ve even had to go to & pay for a hotel — including a 2nd room for my mother to drive & accompany — for a few days recently, to cover TWO in a hospital too far to make in a day and back (that one time went horribly wrong, and… NEVER again)… and at DIFFICULT Times.

They keep saying that “The NHS is broken”… But I find more than anything else, it’s The NHS People inside it, that seem to be more “broken” than the system.