Kushtie T. Chariot
It was only when I absolutely no longer move my legs on my own at all, that I had to drag them around after me... That it finally Dawned On Me --
This Is REAL...
Then my off-the-peg tank of a crappy make-do-for now chair caused 4 Solid Hours of Spasms, that I conceded to getting a "Proper" chair.
Technically, Kushtie is my 3rd "proper" Chair, but by All Gods...
IT'S THE BEST...!
The Journey To Accepting I Needed A Wheelchair Forever
Some people, like I did, will believe that doing anything to walk, struggling to walk, is the best option...
Is what affords you dignity.
Trust me, it doesn't.
Fibromyalgia/"Fibroplegia" was costing me EVERYTHING -- Including my body. It had been struggling and FAILING since Day One; yet the Rheumatologist at Whipps Cross Hospital went and told me Not To Worry because "It's Not Degenerative".
"NOT DEGENERATIVE", MY ASS...!!!
Well. Maybe Fibromyalgia isn't... But FIBROPLEGIA ...IS.
It also took about 90% Sense of Touch from everywhere that Wasn't Paralysed...
I could barely move my legs or stand on them, but still I insisted on pushing & exhausting myself -- walking just a few more paces, insisting I wasn't going to give up my "right" to walk. I just made my condition worse, pushed myself too much, and literally got nowhere.
I pushed myself like this until the very end...
Yet, there's a chance I could have exasperated it; Brought it on Sooner... Maybe.
It was only when I absolutely no longer move my legs on my own at all, that I had to drag them around after me, when my off-the-peg tank of a crappy chair caused 4 hours of spasms, that I conceded to getting a "Proper" wheelchair.
And once I got the right one... suddenly the world opened up to me in a way that was never available to me before, once this impossible, impenetrable Condition had started to truly take hold of me.