Having MAJOR MEGA BlackOuts Today... One not long a go from about 11:10pm to just minutes before 12am...
From at least 8pm, I had another MEGA MAJOR BLACKOUT - for an hour, or maybe a sliver shy of it.... And the Nightmares were BAD... Eyes were BURNING on waking for a LONG While afterwards., too.
It's generally been Not Just A Bad Day...But a Bad BAD Few Days.
Aspirated Meds from 12pm Meds Time, I think... At about 1:10pm. Had to cough it all up — but there wasn't really much there other than a relatively small amount of Acidic Fluid, indicating that Meds were Aspirated...
I wanted to sing later... And thanks to this, I doubt I will be able to to do that at all.
I am VERY Too Unhappy about it... But I seem to be constantly the “Victim” of Circumstance. This also being a prime example of that.
Lungs — although relieved and “empty” — are unhappy after this... After having things in them that's Absolutely Not Natural Whatsoever. After being coughed & retched for a period of time, from 10 minutes to 45 mins+....
After Lung Vomiting through Bronchioles & Bronchi, and finally the Trachea... There's too much wrong to be able to actually sing as well...
Because there is also always Fibromyalgia as Ruler Of All
& Regardless of Anything Else...
Yesteray afternoon.... I was having to change clothes AGAIN because of an accident (Piddles related) involving Too Much Bypassing Happening throughout yesterday.... I so do NOT have enough clothes for this... Had to be that was since last night - - it's Not Good to end up being in that situation....
Wet, the AWFUL SMELL Stench... Having to take care that I don't sit on anything without an inco under me...
The situation literally & figuratively Stinks of Disability... Lack of Autonomy, Zero Dignity, Shame & Humiliation, Reminder of what you Just Can't Do For Yourself...
An, of course, having to have/let your Mam change your Tena Pad/Incontinance Pants/Grown-Up Nappy like you're 6 months old instead of over 40 years old....
Undignified is not a big enough word for it....
Late yesterday, I Managed To Pour a small tsunami of piddles all over me and the floor and everything- even my Big[ger] Guy tablet [Doogee T20 Ultra 12" tablet] .......(!!!!!!!!) ... JUST.... WHY ?????!!!!!
Had to change dress AGAIN...(!!!!!)
HAVING TO KEEP DOING THIS IS SO FUCKING FUCKED UP & HORRIBLE.....(!!!!!!!)
After that... After working through Spasms an more BlackOuts ALL Day ... Left Trying to figure out how to sort stuff out to get into bed.... The clocks going forward hasn't helped either... Bad enough it would have been 3.24am— but it's actually 4.24am & meaning it's closing in in 5am.... GAH!!
It doesn't help my new desk table for the floor is not only amazing but nearly the entire the size of my available space....
And there's shit everywhere after moving stuff out of the way to fit it in.
To make it even worse, been having BAD Bladder/Bowel Spasms ALL DAY, and they're STILL GOING... Which causes BAD Bypassing — being FORCED OUT by the Spasms each time, and the catheter balloon being FORCED Down and making Bypassing all the more likely.
So, my Tena was saturated and my dress starting to go that way, too.
There's Just No STOPPING The Relentless & Excruciating Wrongs that keep on happening...
GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
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