This sudden attack on Disability Benefits,PIP (not even a work-related benefit, to boot, “Sir” Starmer Bellend), on Disabled People, on Disabled People being a “drain on the economy and society” rhetoric, and the vitriol from the government and public… It’s destroying what VERY Little self-care, self-respect, I might have had for the person I have become.
In too much PAIN. I am BEYOND Far Too EXHAUSTED & FATIGUED.... I don't know what I'm doing, or what I should be doing -- given the circumstances.... But if you really want to respect those -- there's really not much a CAN do.
So. I just got the letter from The Specialist Neurologist from the Hospital Officially CONFIRMING I Have FND.... Functional Neurological Disorder.
This morning I could barely move. I barely slept - last night was RIDICULOUSLY AWUL - and was unable to wake up properly today...I am NOT OK with what is happening here - and it makes me feel SO MUCH WORSE that it IS SO DIFFICULT for me to manage -- because "ALL" I had to do was go downstairs and wait for a delivery person to turn up;.
HARD Night and BAD Morning.... EXTREME BUZZING. BAD Eyes. EXCRUCIATING PAIN. Dizziness & Nausea. Disoriented & Disassociated.
And Calling it “Welfare” is one HELL of a Joke - because they care an absolute TOSS about your “Welfare”, and NONE of it Benefits You. Instead, it’s Shameful, Sickening, Humiliating, Debilitating... DEMEANING.
If you're going to be Autistic, don't have a family that will automatically Blame You For Everything. That will tell everyone to Kingdom Come that you're "trouble", "broken", "problematic" and/or "have issues"...
It's not fault we were told lies about how "Crazy" we were, back when, instead of properly diagnosed. Living with the Stigma and backlash of being labelled with Severe Psychological/Mental Health Illnesses meant we missed out on being properly diagnosed and having a semi-decent life - instead of harrowing torment & CPTSD.
This morning has been UTTERLY AWFUL - COLD, BEING ILL, FIBRO-FLAREUP, MEGA BURNOUT SINKING RIGHT INTO MY SOUL AND MY BONES, PARESTHESIA... JUST ANOTHER HORRIBLE DAY OF HELL....
It's 1039mb now, FFS...!?! No Wonder I feel like I'm trapped in an static ball with electrifying hedgehog Spikes Attached and On +10,000......
The PAIN in my Lumbar Spine has now become HORRENDOUS... It's actually making it difficult to breathe, let alone move..... And I'm maxed out on some serious painkilllers - ones badass enough to keep my Fibro Pain under control.
Too Overwhelmed. OTT.... EVERYTHING. EVER. That's what it feels like. And the CHAOS, the Terrifying CHAOS... The OVERWHELMING amount of things that need to be DONE...
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