EPIC FLAREUP
This is FIBRO HELL… Like I’ve been hit by a train, then a tank, and then by an Entire fucking PLANET……
Down The Rabbit Hole
~ BLOG ~
28 February 2024
26 February 2024
Isobars & BlackOuts
I've lost count of the amount of BlackOuts I've had today... That I've had over the past couple of Weeks... It's Been Brutal & RELENTLESS... Today... I've Just Been Blacking Out BADLY. Again... Several MAJOR MEGA BlackOuts in a ROW.... NOT. GOOD. Drained, No Focus... And Isobars Shooting On UP Like a ROCKET.... Only to CRASH Right Back Down Again - Over & Over & Over.Had 3 NIGHTMARES last night, this morning before meds, and then between Morning Meds and 9.30am massages.I really just want to Do Stuff, but I can't because I am basically Unconscious.
23 February 2024
ABYSMAL
Today is already completely kicking my ASS after yesterday… and to make it worse it is STILL 982mb THIS MORNING — FFS…!!!!! …. Could up some bit of lung-fluid and sticky-icky stuff. Came up easily enough with a bit of Ventolin… Thought it was because I might have aspirated meds, but it didn’t seem to be the case.
27 December 2023
Rabbit Hole
I've long always known I Belong In The Dark. But I made a... B.A.D Decision... After my Ococcusses.
22 December 2023
Blocked Catheter & Crappy YULE
So. Felt Super Nauseated this morning ... Made me check in the catheter bag cos it wasn't being good last night.. Annnndddd NOPE. Cos it's YULE DO-OVER DAY it QUITE NATURALLY went and GODS-DAMNED BLOCKED ITSELF....
19 December 2023
Degradation...
I feel like I Am Drowning... Suffocating... In Claustrophobic PANIC. I really do have Panic Attacks of fear, panic itself, shock, grief...
11 December 2023
Fibro Vs FND & Long COVID
I have waited a LONG time to get to this point, to ask for this investigation into FND & Long COVID from the GP. I am terrified of being laughed at, being told no, or that I’m being daft. Humiliated, burned, ghosted, gaslit, disdainfully told off…
29 November 2023
Dysphagia Overwhelmed
I'm UTTERLY EXHAUSTED and in PAIN... My hair is MATTED & CLUMPED together, and sticky and STINKS after lung-vomiting/vomiting all over everywhere and everything up through the night, upto about 4am....
9 November 2023
Still Not Over...
Aspirating Again... On Coffee this time... It's STILL Not Over... Guess the bottom line is that this Dysphagia is Never Going To Be Over... Is It?? Fibromyalgia DOESN'T Do This.... And it's getting WAY Too Scary, now. My body, my system, is Disintegrating before me, and there seems to be SO Little I can DO to Stop It. This is far more than my Autistic Brain can manage, more than Alexithymia Allows me to Process. Chronic Pain was Bad Enough. Paralysis and Zero Touch sensation Crossed a BIG Line. Having my food & drink try to Suffocate Me??? THAT is going WAY TOO FAR.
15 October 2023
More Aspirating, Less Functioning
FIRST TIME doing meds by myself and I ASPIRATED .... Lolli had to bang my back FOR AGES ... and I THREW UP the Aspirated Coffee ALL OVER ME & the FRONT OF MY DRESS. Lasted at least 20 minutes - the Choking and the Coughing, and the Back-Slapping, until it was ALL GONE & ALL OUT....
6 October 2023
The Waking Nightmare
Been awake since 5:30am... Already over-exhausted and drained, barely getting out of bed. The Tendon is trying to come back. I Am Very Not OK - the "Vestibular Migraine Symptoms" are Ready & Rife, making me agitated, distressed, anxious, disengaged, disassociated. It's horrible and I feel extremely BAD & WRONG...
4 October 2023
ALL ABOUT THEM
Well.... Think I might be done with parents. Mam is nothing more than a petulant child who can't even listen to me when she says the will. Who won't help me. Who should NEVER HAVE HAD ME.
Create Your Own Website With Webador