FIRST TIME doing meds by myself and I ASPIRATED .... Lolli had to bang my back FOR AGES ... and I THREW UP the Aspirated Coffee ALL OVER ME & the FRONT OF MY DRESS. Lasted at least 20 minutes - the Choking and the Coughing, and the Back-Slapping, until it was ALL GONE & ALL OUT....
... Also dropped Lolli's COKE Straw Bottle OVER THE FLOOR by the bed... WTELAF......!!!!!
That Was at 7:30am Morning Meds... and I STILL Am Not OK.
Only Just Got Out Of Bed.... And Just found a random yellow Zomorph in the rug. No idea where it came from. -... I dropped a yellow one whilst taking them this morning (there are 2 in each dose). I have no idea if this is the "other one" that was in my clothes or that it's from last night, hence the MASSIVE Blackouts...??
Hating on the fact I'm only JUST Managing -- BARELY -- to be vaguely functioning.
There's been No Thumper. No Massage Oils. Not After This Morning with the Meds & MEGA Aspirating... I'm completely WRECKED.
Mam is away, visiting Little Sis & Kids overnight for Older Kid's Birthday. It's Just Me & Lolli having to manage alone... When we're in a REALLY Bad Way and the WEATHER & ISOBARS SUCK.
I am WRUNG DRY & THEN SOME...
... MEGA EXHAUSTED To The Umpteenth Point.... Utterly EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED.... And It Makes Me Feel SO UTTERLY SICK TO MY STOMACH...
Even Buddy is acting REALLY REALLY fucking Strange.
I am nothing more or less than Completely Dead Inside.
And Entirely Empty .
Last Night Was An Absolute Horror Show For Me...
Was Just RELENTLESSLY Blacking Out since 7pm... Wave After Wave talking me back in and never letting go... BOMBARDED with Images,.with Sounds, Nightmares & Hallucinations.
At 1.45am.... only just getting to the point of moving to get into bed.
Pretty much only NOW - at THIS point - Lucidity Is REALLY Coming Back. NOW. This.... Thing... with the BlackOuts is Monumentally FUCKING FUCKED UP.
PAIN. DISTRESSED AF. Hungry — cos I never got to finish my dinner....
That One Incredibly OVERWHELMING BlackOut VEIL lasted from 7pm... until 2am.
The Weather Is Back To Being Intensely Cruel With RollerCoaster Isobars Again.
Going from Polar Extremes To Steep Undulations
The Isobars. The Nightmares. The Overwhelming FEAR. The MAJOR Fibro-FlareUps. The AGONISING PAIN... Making everything So Much Worse -- so INTENSE & OVERWHELMING. It's Beyond Reproach -- but what can you DO against The Weather...???
And Now it's Past 12pm... I have to face Taking My Meds All Over Again.
And I am Fucking Petrified.