I've lost count of the amount of BlackOuts I've had today... That I've had over the past couple of Weeks... It's Been Brutal & RELENTLESS... Today... I've Just Been Blacking Out BADLY. Again... Several MAJOR MEGA BlackOuts in a ROW.... NOT. GOOD. Drained, No Focus... And Isobars Shooting On UP Like a ROCKET.... Only to CRASH Right Back Down Again - Over & Over & Over.
Had 3 NIGHTMARES last night, this morning before meds, and then between Morning Meds and 9.30am massages.
I really just want to Do Stuff, but I can't because I am basically Unconscious.
I've lost count of the amounts of BlackOuts I've had today, now... It's been Brutal and RELENTLESS......
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Doesn't help I was up till ALL HOURS in the Sodding Bathroom - even till Three in the Morning...
YEP - That's Right ....(!!)
.... I SERIOUSLY CANNOT BELIEVE was even forced to the bathroom... At 2am....!! TWO FUCKING AM!!! 😠😠😠 DESPITE doing my very best to prevent it.... BAD SPASMS all of a sudden for about 20 minutes around 1:30am - and then when they finally relent for a bit, and I could leave the Room, it was nearly 2am and I end up getting there just after, around 2:05am.
And Then I was There for AN HOUR.
Of course, that's one thing -- but the other side of that is maybe it's not as late, but it's arguably WORSE. Yes. Worse. Might end up having to go to the bathroom and it's only around 7:15pm... But you are only Ready & Able to LEAVE at 9:20pm — That's TWO HOURS LATER.
TWO HOURS effectively trapped in the bathroom. Held Hostage there, because the only way anything happens is because Gravity... kinda... Works. But not very well, though. Certainly NOT Well Enough, that's for sure. Having Minimal or Zero Peristalsis means, well, Gravity is about the only way this gets actually seen to, whatsoever.
Has been the case since I got Sepsis & Septicemia 6 Years Ago, from a UTI gone Supernova that caused a Bowel Infection from Hell Itself, which then in turn caused TWO sodding forms of Blood Poisoning at once; at the same time; in Unison.
Of COURSE SOMETHING BROKE....(!!!!!!)
FFS...!!!! 😭😭😭
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