Four Days at the Hospital with Lolli... FOUR DAYS of being on Tenterhooks, not knowing what they're going to Do with me, not knowing how Lolli is going to be, and trying REALLY HARD Not To Look At - Or think about - What happened to me in the Same Boat... In other words, Trauma's a Bitch and it never does anyone any good - Ever.

Exhaustion is a Bastard... And Fatigue is everybody's worst nightmare - even if you didn't already have very seriously precarious Mental Health Difficulties... They Twist & Bend The World, your Mind, your Memories, your Perception... And in turn, make you Question & Fear the very fabric of the entire World and everything that is in it.

Especially Yourself.

It pours an entire Microscope over Every Teeny-Tiny Thing, until everything is Distorted & Wrong. So... Even when it really IS Wrong... It Just Makes Everything SO MASSIVELY OVERWHELMING that you feel - you KNOW - You Just CANNOT DEAL With ANY Of IT....  (!!)

It makes everything so much more complicated & difficult, then. You cannot see the woods for the trees, and there are too many "trees" for you to comprehend, tolerate, make sense out of, and then that complexity means feeling even more scared & overwhelmed, rather than being pro-active, in control, or just outright unperturbed or nonchalant.