The Emboldened, Apathetic, Intrusiveness of the Health & Social Care Workers — and the machine that empowers that — is getting to me, More & More so.
Today, ANOTHER phone call before even 9am… To an Autistic Person who is well-known to be AFRAID of Phone Calls.
Not only that, they have been CONSTANTLY told that I cannot speak to, or see anyone, until after 1pm, when my meds have kicked in properly and I can actually Think & Function. And almost, sort-of Cope with whatever it is that’s Going On.
Now…
This was yet Another Phone Call hellbent on These People removing all the more Autonomy away: They’re ALWAYS Demanding, Demeaning (in the fashion of the way they force Their Own Whims over my NEEDS: Preventing Physical Torment, Dangerous Mental Health Decline, NOT Getting Worse - Heaven Forbid, the horror…), Inhumane, & Apathetic as HELL with Zero Flexibility or Care (because… Heaven Forbid the “Care” system actually DO THAT…) for my Own Rather Particular Circumstances & Needs.
The ones they are MAKING MUCH WORSE with Every Single One of these FREQUENT events. At this rate, they’re going to render me so Beyond Helpable, I’m going to barely nothing but a Destroyed Vegetable — IF they don’t actually kill me first.
No Joke.
From May onwards, they have been crippling me… They’ve given me what looks more and more to be SEPSIS after Surgery. Their appointments are Spiralling, Multiplying TOO MUCH & TOO FAST. They’re Piling on top of each other in a way that can only lead to one thing: —
Even More Permanent Damage.
AND YET — I am beholden to them. They, their “Policies”, their attitudes ALWAYS Ensures That.
And no matter what, that does not ever change. I am Disabled. I am Vulnerable. Therefore I am… “Bulliable”. Forced to bend to their will, because of the old childish excuses parents try on their kids — “Because We SAID SO”… And that — like when you’re a child — is apparently the Final Say On The Matter.
Despite the fact that, at “my age” [4th Decade, but still.], I’m quite possibly or probably older than these people ordering me about — given how young some of them seem to be, now.
…The ringtone I have that used to make me smile… is now starting to echo in my ears and haunt me with Flashbacks after each and every one — for days.
I’m tempted to keep it on Silent and get back to whomever that’s the latest Asshat that thought they were SO ENTITLED to demand my time, in my own space, when I needed it THE LEAST... In MY Own Space, in MY Own time, when I am ready and capable of Dealing with whatever it is they’re bringing into my face.
I truly, honestly feel like I am dying. That my body is degenerating at a rather alarming rate.
And I fear that is what is going to happen sooner rather than later, at the rate they’re Pushing & Hounding at me, at us, here.
If this is all “life” is ever going to be though…. What do I have to “lose” by Being Dead….?
Add comment
Comments