Suprapubic Surgery happened, 19th September 2025. You'd think things would be BETTER. The LAST two times, things WERE better -- at least, THIS far in (a LOT MORE to be said about that much further ON from Surgery Date, but NEVER RIGHT AWAY...[!])
Came Back from hospital to Dad having COVID, Mam getting a "Cold/Virus" that she didn't mask up for, or take ANY precautions with [for Two Days], who then has given it straight to LOLLI... Both of whom I NEEDED to try and HELP take care of me, Post-Op, to try and get some actual RECOVERY Done...
WIRED... NOT OK... JUST — ANXIOUS & Unable to settle at all EVER...
Managed to play a little bit of SIMS 4....
Now Buddy woke up as I tried to settle the fuck down, and is being agitated, not being clear with what he wants (he usually is), and suddenly obsessed with the Quavers that fell out the main packet of then earlier and eating them all up...
Yes, me... Dealing. With It. No one here to pick up the slack at all. Me or nothing... And Nothing isn't an option when it comes to fur babies.
Been left in a state where I Just Cannot Actually Cope with Recovery. Physically or cognitively. I'm Just Not In Any Fit State To Actually Manage It, Whatsoever....
Pushed FAR TOO FAR.
I STILL can't eat or drink... I'm TOO FUCKING WRECKED.
I don't feel able to "let go" and disconnect. I feel very Overwhelmed.
It's been Two Days — Going Into Day Three — but I've still had to do most of everything myself, for myself, since I got back... and there's no one really to even help me.
I do the thinking, the doing and the reminding. Even though I really need someone to take that off my shoulders, so I can concentrate on Getting Better.
My abdomen is either severely extra bruised, infected, or swollen unknowingly... Either way, it's HARD as HELL to move or BE moved. It feels like a lap-belt of Wrong & ... "Discomfort"...? Moving back and forth OR side to side causes...
The people around me can't help. They've been Pushed TOO Far from looking after me in THAT STATE ....
After nearly 4 ½ months, its finally post-surgery — BUT they are TOO FUCKING WRECKED TO LOOK AFTER ME AT ALL, anymore.
Those Assholes who FORCED ME TO LIVE IN THE SQUALOR of sitting in my own piss because I was TOO ILL TO MOVE OR BE MOVED, from the spot I was in... Where I had to sit in it, with it squelching, dripping, saturating my skin, my clothes, my rugs & floor, blankets, bed — even soft toys, pillows, tech... Something that was SO DISGUSTING & DISGRACEFUL...
... They also CONDEMNED ME — ALL OF US — TO Having Zero ANYTHING LEFT With to Deal With The Aftermath Of Surgery & Recovery.
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