Sometimes It's Just Too Much To Manage With

Struggling With Food. Nightmares. Severe Buzzing Paresthesia. Fibro is being utterly Ferocious, as is what seems to be the RELENTLESS Symptoms of FND... 

Unwittingly punishing too hard to eat at dinner again… With the same outcome as before, so, I must have….LOTS of BAD BlackOuts, go to bed fairly early & then… Locked In Nightmares until Morning & Mam wakes me for Meds…

I’M STARTING TO REALLY HATE EATING AGAIN…

Don’t eat much or properly anymore, either. These days I struggle with my usual — Vegan “bacon” sandwiches, a small bowl of skinny fries, 3 small chicken party skewers, and 2 sets of cheese toasties. I used to happily get through most of it… before the Aspirating started. Ever since, it’s been less and less.

Now it’s to the point where the only “real” (barely real) I eat in a day is the fake bacon sandwich, and maybe if I manage the fries, as well. Sometimes there’s also a small slice of Madeira cake or a couple or so of Custard Creams and/or Digestives if my blood sugar drops too much.

Leftover food – cold toasties – that I have in a baggie…. gets thrown away too often, uneaten. At best, they’re eaten the next day, instead.

I struggle with eating At All, now. Pretty sure I’ve fallen off The {ED… } Wagon. (um… as in, eating disorder wagon…). 

CAN’T EVEN DRINK MY DAMNED COFFEE.

This is crossing one HELL of a serious line for me… BAD ENOUGH it’s taken ALL of my favourite foods that made eating not only bearable, but worthwhile. I Enjoyed Food when I ate those things. Now I can [currently? I hope] eat NONE OF THEM.