Worth it

I rose from the ashes of a traumatic childhood with serious CPTSD, but with a drive to only do what I wanted to do. It’s a long list, especially since I barely got a decade’s worth of Adulthood before This Nightmare Destroyed Everything, including my Body & Brain.

At 15, I was written off by my “Psychiatrist” as ”Un-Helpable”. A Lost Cause. I took those words to heart — and I made sure that I FREAKIN SUCCEEDED. Because there was never going to be a single timeline in the Metaverse that would have me proving him right.

In a way, the dumbass knobend made me. His words in my ear drove me to find and smash whatever I was good at.

I was a severely traumatised child who barely went to school from the age of 12. I got 4 GCSEs. Just about — through the efforts of the teachers in an Adolescent Mental Health Unit. I was in that Mental Health Unit for a year, and my GCSEs I managed to do in just 6 months.

Then, after I spent a year being paralysed I went to college... There, over three years, I got 3 A-Levels, an NVQ in Health & Social Care, and tolerated one year of a BTEC L3 in Performing Arts... before I decided that pigeons could do better.

I studied to be a Classical Soprano in my own time, instead. I got a Grade 5 in Classical Singing and Grade 7 in Musical Theatre Performance when I was about 19yo. I came 3rd in a concert competition despite having suspected laryngitis (I was too stupid to actually opt out of it).

I performed on the stages of three different West End theatres five separate times, age 21-23.

I had a successful career as an NHS HCA in two London Hospitals - was actually being a HCA my first job after I moved to London. It would have been with three London Hospitals, but one hospital screwed me over after I'd been given the job, so I never, in the end, got to actually do it.

Then, went on to become a successful IT Consultant in Data Analysis (I didn’t study for it, I just liked it, taught myself; it was more fun that way), and my last job in London was, ironically, working with the NHS in a Major London Hospital on a huge Data Migration Project, as well as other Data Analysis requirements.

In the right/wrong place at the right/wrong time and became accidental IT Data Analysis Team Leader & Project Manager of an EU/UK-Wide Database for a Big International B2B Company, when I knew jack shit about either things, or about building a Database.

I was an advance horse rider from a teenager, and an advanced Yoga Practitioner by my early 20s. I read everything I could get my hands one like my life depended on it (in a lot of ways, it did) and avidly played favourite games on my Xbox simply because I loved them.

I Did NOT Do Anything I Didn’t Like That Wasn’t Necessary. I Worked Hard To Be Responsible — But, I would only “ADULT” when I HAD to.

Now, I can safely say the ALL MATTERED. I learned from the Bad, was Awed with the Good.

And it was worth it.