This sudden attack on Disability Benefits,PIP (not even a work-related benefit, to boot, “Sir” Starmer Bellend), on Disabled People, on Disabled People being a “drain on the economy and society” rhetoric, and the vitriol from the government and public… It’s destroying what VERY Little self-care, self-respect, I might have had for the person I have become.
Over 12 Years I’ve been learning - or at least trying to learn - how to accept and respect the “new me” and my “new norm”… a permanent wheelchair user, who can’t use the toilet, needs her mother to look after her, who is unable to leave the house (or her room) easily, who can’t eat or drink properly [Dysphagia], and hasn’t had a real shower in Over A Year (FYI: bed baths SUCK). I struggle to breathe, to move, to write, to even think. But I tried to get my head around it; to still believe in myself, that I was STILL VALID.
WELL. That’s all gone right out the goddamned window now. The current “Regime” now Publicly, verbally “flogs” Disabled People, and makes sure everybody knows that: INVALID = IN-VALID.
I am struggling to process it all. I’m left confused, terrified, overwhelmed, SO, SO Upset, sad, angry, sickened. I feel Bullied; made into a vulnerable scapegoat, and for something that has nothing to do with me, but I’m getting the abuse for it, regardless — and there is nothing that can be done about that.
In barely more than a moment — I went from being an advanced horse rider and yoga bunny, walking my dog from 3 to 10 miles every day, making my way from one end of London to the other to my awesome job as an NHS IT Consultant Data Analyst… to being left paralyzed, in agony, unable to even help myself change clothes, go to the bathroom or wash, Blacking Out and being unconscious from Functional Seizures — for minutes or hours at a time.
FND and Fibromyalgia took my life, and just like that, I was in my 30s, severely disabled, and being looked after by my parents. “All” I did was catch pneumonia when I was 32.
Now — That life in London has long gone. I MYSELF have Gone. I feel numb. Vilified. I feel pointless and useless.
People are being TAUGHT that people like me are To Be HATED — hated by other people who are but one breath away from BECOMING one of us. I was literally one breath away — and just catching a “simple” infection changed EVERYTHING FOREVER.
Squeezing us to the bone marrow gives them less than £5bn… Yet, getting mere drops from people who get FAR More, would give them SO Much More.
Tories in Red Colouring. It’s expected from the Conservatives… But this - This was a Betrayal, and it runs deep.
The Betrayal runs deep.
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