OFFICIALLY FND

So. I just got the letter from The Specialist Neurologist from the Hospital Officially CONFIRMING I Have FND.... Functional Neurological Disorder.

It's the letter they send to your GP 🫣 to tell them everything.

REALLY REAL Now. They've even gone & told the GP Surgery.

Even in the letter it sounds like he's not optimistic that they can actually offer me anything or DO anything, at the point...

Although, if they had any Anti-Buzzing meds, though, that would be Wildly Appreciated..... (!)

Feel l like I've been his by a PLANET - and then every OTHER Planet in the solar system... Crushed, kicked by a giant horse, beaten up and stamped on by the entire national armies of at least three countries, as well as trampled on by their mounted divisions.... AND like I haven't even taken my meds for several days....

The Isobars are are yoyo NIGHTMARE this week... It's TERRIFYING given we're supposed to be going away ... Which I think is getting to the point right now where I don't think I will be able to....

I can't move. I could barely get out of bed and had to be helped for thie first time in forever.

I've got one eye closed to try and read what I am typing, but it's blurred and halo'd as if I didn't have my glasses on (I do) -- my eyes just can't physically capable of working, of focusing...

The lights are the BRIGHTEST they've been in a long times (I haven't touched them)

I'm barely managing to stay conscious in the face of the raging pain, screaming everywhere inside me....m barely managing to stay conscious in the face of the raging pain, screaming everywhere inside me....

I STINK because I haen't been able to change my clothes or my pad IN FUCKING DAYS AND DAYS. My Pad can't hold ANYTHING else and it's a stinking mess. But moving to get it off and a new on one? NOT an option right now - lest it involves SCREAMING and Blacking Out for HOURS afterwards....

Yesterday... I was so UTTERLY Exhausted, in PAIN, Just.... Zoning... For HOURS ON END.... HATING IT.... I can't even SEE properly STILL == everything is blurry and swimmy and ....unless I have rmy right eye closed and I concentrate HARD with my left one.....

The Isobars are on a Yoyo, it's REALLY BAD == amd it's enoug to UTTER:Y WRECK Me, Lolli, and Momee. BADLY. COMPLETELY.

I can't focus, concentrate, play SIMS..... Or even WRITE.

HEADACHE. DIZZY....PAIN -- TENDON, NOSE, BACK, NECK, FACE, FINGERITPS..., EVERYWHERE I CSN FEEL.....

It's SO very BAD I CAN'T open eyes properly, and only got left eye (barely ) open and can barely see through :; Been Zoning out BADLY... Think I've got chilled bones,...

⁰'The Tendon Is REALLY ON ONE... and I've got a VERY. BAD. HEADACHE.....

Breathing is hard, like the boa constrictor uis back. Paresthesica is OUT OF ITS FUCKING MIND.

ALL I had instead of "sleep" was NIGHTMARES

UTTERLY Exhausted, in PAIN, Just.... Zoning Out For HOURS ON END....It's SO very BAD I CAN'T open eyes properly... Think I've got chilled bones,... HATING IT.... The Tendon Is REALLY ON ONE... and I've got a VERY. BAD. HEADACHE.....

Breathing is hard, like the boa constrictor uis back. Paresthesica is OUT OF ITS FUCKING MIND.

And ALL I had instead of "sleep" was NIGHTMARES.