Disorientated… All Morning, been Disorientated & Disassociated… And now I’ve finally realised I’ve got Vestibular [Migraine] Dizziness and a Thick Fugue & Haze around me – can’t see things properly — like there’s a very delicate mist and I’ve put the wrong contact lenses in from two prescriptions in ago (…still wearing my normal, perfectly fine glasses)…
I don’t feel well. I have a Headache from this and I can feel it triggering that Tendon in my face.
Fibro-Flareup is Getting Worse, and it’s REALLY Not Good to have to go through & endure… PAIN, Stiffness, Extra-numbness, Nausea, ZoneOuts, Exhaustion…. More…. All Making Things NOT GOOD TODAY.
VERY. VERY. NOT. GOOD.
Also… Got BIG Heartburn going on — despite being on Esomeprazole…. It is Not Helping with my Nausea.…
Will keep trying to read through *My* books to keep my mind off it, hopefully.
… Because, yesterday, I was in BlackOut Central All The Damned Freaking Day. I even tried controlled mini-naps to help stabilise the Drained Fatigue & Utterly Wrecked Exhaustion, I was suffering all through the day. But, The Bottom Line Was I Actually Barely Stayed Lucid for a more few minutes at a time. I was barely conscious throughout the day, with only the odd few moments of ability here and there to try, either, at this rate...
I literally CAN’T FUNCTION.
The Brain-Fog Vestibular Thing seems to be getting worse… RollerCoster Isobars seem to be in mega effect for this week now… I am also Overwhelmed by the SO MANY THINGS that are going on… Including the TRAUMA of it getting towards the Anniversary of the "December Debacle" - which actually started in October 2022…
That sits ILL with me for SO MANY REASONS – more than Just The Obvious.
I feel MEGA Frustrated and WAY O.T.T. OVER-OVERWHELMED — to the point where I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT COPE with ANYTHING [Again]… Wonder if the Anniversary might have anything to do with that…. (?? — A No=Brainer Question, More Than Likely, too….).
Having been entirely non-productive during the day — as it ALWAYS is now — I am, as ALWAYS, getting AGITATED, FRUSTRATED, ANGRY, ANSTY… Because I want to DO things and now I basically CANNOT…
Everything becomes DERAILED — and the subsequent Disaster that inevitably comes directly as its Aftermath, is a Nightmare to wade through and deal with. It’s not Just The Once, either — It’s Every Single Time Something Is Derailed, in any way, that there is a Significant Aftermath and Fallout to it.
… All at once, it has broken what was planned and created a lot more Stress, Anxiety, Panic… And that makes it far more difficult – or maybe impossible – to recover from, and manage what was supposed to be done. Most of the time, I know that I am faced with yet one more thing that has to be pushed back to “Tomorrow“… Always A Day Away, and yet still Never Comes.
I am Restricted during the day by being EXHAUSTED, trapped in BlackOuts & ZoneOuts [waiting for meds to kick in], rendered completely non-functional by various symptoms — for which we still haven’t a single clue how to deal with or work out where they’re basically coming from…
Same said Exhaustion making even Breathing too difficult and painful. There is Too Much Anxiety, Buzzing, Tightness, of Hot, Tingly, Nauseating Feels from strange sensations in fingertips. Eating has become nigh-on impossible, and even my beloved Coffee isn’t being drunk anymore.
The RollerCoaster Isobars that has been created by the Storm and its aftermath has definitely pushed Recovery from the past 12 months Backwards a hell of a lot. It’s even more hideously Aggrieving, when it comes along on the heels of actual Progress — Just as I was starting to make some significant Progress into said Recovery. But now, simply looking almost like it never even happened at all in the first place.
… At Least I Have Managed to FINALLY Find Doggies’ Pet Insurance with More Than… And Lolli’s ESA Letter,for her to take to Walton, tonight. The Pet Insurance, at least, has been scanned it my iPad.
… Damn — Forgot to manage to make the Backups – I hope I remember to manage that, at some point.
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