• Autistic
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Hemiplegic Migraine
  • C-PTSD
  • Wheelchaiar Whizzer

Sore Throat & COVID Flashbacks

Published on 12 July 2023 at 04:19

Woke up with some pain in my throat - having screamed for Carlos Alcaraz yesterday whilst winning and when he won... it's amazing there is Anything left. On Top Of That I've had Raspy Fibro Voice and I am LITERALLY TOO EXHAUSTED to Breathe. Or Manage. Move. Think.... ANYTHING. MEGA FATIGUE OVERLOAD - and it is UTTERLY INTOLERABLE....

I am BEYOND Fatigued and Can't Move;... Dizzy, blurred vision, Vestibular... not ok..... Physical Sensory Overload & Sensory Processing, Brain Fog, Struggling to Keep Eyes Open from Sheer Exhaustion...

The Stupid Big [Shocking; so SUDDEN!!] Full Body Twitches are REALLY Violent/Intense.... Sharp, Sudden, Random.... 

Vibrating & Shaking Is BAD... Like I've Swallowed A Jackhammer....


Been Having Petit Mal Mini BlackOuts... Totally EXHAUSTED... Throat hurts still - was screaming a little for the Tennis again today, but not as much at least...  And Trying To Talk and getting people to Hear You is Hard. Also, I've Literally Drunk pretty much ZERO Coffee ALL DAY.  

I'm not 100% sure I don't have an Upper Respiratory Issue... I've tried Buttercup Syrup - which has helped the pain in my throat but nothing else... And I've tried my Asthma Meds (blue I'm WRECKED ... it's literally too hard to breathe... But there's nothing pushing against me breathing in - just that it literally TAKES SO MUCH FUCKING EFFORT... ?!!!!

REALLY Wish I had remembered to have a Night-Time Buttercup Syrup... Throat Feels Really Horrid. 

To Be Honest... I'm Still Not Entirely Comfortable about the shape my throat is in,how if feels and what it's doing... The Spectre of COVID-Time Chest Infection has come Roaring Back into my Brain, Dominating my thoughts with Vivid Flashbacks & Physical Memories - that means that they are so strong my body is feeling like it's Experiencing It All The Same Right "Now", All Over Again.

I have to consciously confront & comfort myself that the flashbacks are not real Now.... They're SO Vivid & Powerfully Overwhelming, my body reacts to it like it's still real... and the panic rises to match...

It's Hard to stop that from Escalating ... and I'm having to learn, slowly, how it's done...?

... Um... ALSO -- For some reason... Now having More & More Bladder/Bowel Spasms & feeling like the Catheter Ball has fallen to the Urethra again - which isn't OK, especially since this doesn't usually happen until about Week 3... (?!??)

STILL literally CANNOT get into the bed because of the Bladder/Bowel Spasms as they CONTINUE...??!! BADLY.


I'm trying different tricks I use on Lolli's Catheter to see if any one of those might help... I'm at a loss ....(!!)

It's WAY Past 4am now... And It's Just Absolutely A Completely Overloading, when factoring into the REST...

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