The Heat Is Relentless... Torturous... AGONISING. And it just doesn't make things Harder To Do... They Make Most Things Now Utterly Absolutely IMPOSSIBLE.
Autistic, with Fibromyalgia & Paresthesia, I am completely Agitated and Frightened by the Heat and This Very Fact.
I Am Overwhelmed. It's FAR Too Hot. And with MAJOR TMI & Sensory Overload... I am TOO Overtired & Hyper-Stimulated by FEELS & TMI. AND I Am Getting Debilitating, BAD Blackouts & ZoneOuts to Deal With, on top of Everything Else.
ALREADY Had TWO BAD & INTENSE BLACKOUTS Just Today, too...The First One, I was Completely, entirely UNRESPONSIVE & UNCONSCIOUS. Just... SNAP -- I Was GONE... I COULD NOT be roused for nearly an Entire Hour — Despite having every idea in the book tried to get me to come to, I Could NOT be Roused.
This was then followed by Several MORE BlackOuts over the rest of the evening and Throughout the Night, which were just as sudden, (but at least?) I wasn't Quite As Unresponsive.
I'm very VERY SPACED OUT & ZONED OUT, MISERABLE. TOO HOT.
These Blackouts are CONSTANT – and Dictate My Life. They take half an hour, an hour, AT A TIME, and I have MANY PER DAY. Some I am less able to be Roused than Others.
The Rest Of The Time, I am Dictated To by the Heat and my Fibromyalgia - with Paresthesia. It otherwise feel free
... Literally The SMALLEST THING Seems TOO Overwhelming To Even Think About -- Anything MORE or BIGGER than that feels IMPOSSIBLE & Evokes True INTENSE PANIC Inside.
It's Frightening that I don't really know Why it happens that I SO suddenly I Keel Over or Just Flop Down, Dead To The World.
But I do know that I am in Sensory Overload HELL from this heat and what it is RELENTLESSLY DOING...
I CAN'T MOVE. It’s Absolutely TOO HARD To Do ANYTHING. I Can't think. I HATE IT When It's Like This. (...!!!)
... Rational or no; the PURE Terror of BEING Like This Is REAL.
The Weather is at it again...
HIGH Temps with Real Feel of 27⁰C,
and semi-low mid-range Isobars
of 1015mb, are a BAD mix,
ESPECIALLY with the RAIN...
I Am MEGA Buzzing with LOTS of Bouncing Beans ... TOO MANY. Creating PAINFUL, Relentless, Torturous Paresthesia -- and it feels like how when Scraping Nails On A Blackboard Goes Through You... But INSIDE EVERY CELL In Your Being [that you can feel].
You know, I've also started noticing it's almost always apparently created when OVERWHELMED with Too Much Anxiety And Feeling Imprisoned In This Body. When I want to Physically Get Up, Get Out, literally Dance & Sing (miss practicing them)... Or pour all that energy into Cognitive Mega-Hyperfocus, which makes me utterly deliriously happy. Then... That's When those Bouncing Beans can REALLY Kick In...
I want to do probably at least 10 things Right Now, At Once (conservative estimate). I'd even settle for being able to PLAY MY GAMES. But I Just Simply Cannot.
It's Physically IMPOSSIBLE and That is a Reality I find difficult to be Accepting of in ANY Way, Shape or Form about.
I am in Physical Unrest Despite being actually Physically Incapable of Moving -- And therefore Not doing what my Brain & Body actually want to do. Can't be challenged, worked on, burnt off... Nothing.
So, The Bouncing Beans Remain... And the PAIN Is Irrefutably Torturous.
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