The seemingly unrelenting Weather-Induced PAIN & Restlessly Rapid-Cycling Air-Pressure Bleeds Days, Week, Months... Into a Blinding Haze of Blackouts and AGONY... Autistic Burnout and Extreme Breakdown that WAS starting to go away, has Escalated over the Past Few Days
B.A.D NIGHT.... B.A.D. NIGHTMARES... HORRIBLE MORNING and now feel just CHAOTIC STATIC running around in my head...
This has been the same every day for days ... Weeks...
I am COLD AGAIN... STILL... My lower Lumbar Spine & ALL Of Back is INSANELY PAINFUL... Making my brain white out every second, over & over again, and I am VERY NOT LUCID BECAUSE OF IT...
Once Steady & Capable Hands are Now Trembling SUPERFLUOUSLY.... Uncontrollable and hard to grasp things... And fingers have about ZERO Dexterity... presumably from Fibro FlareUp but to be honest, they were not this bad before... Weak, unmoving; but not this much trembling or shaking...
THE LAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN HORRENDOUS...
After Not Sleeping All Night... Dad had to wake me up at 12:41pm... After I already tried to wake up at 11am Coffee-Making Time... And I ONLY Went Off then, after literally being UP. ALL. NIGHT.... And had a BAD BAD Nightmare during the Nap -- Never sure what happens in these things but this one was... Devastating. I felt hollow and hands felt... ... ... hollow & numbed & buzzy, too ... It's SO horrible....
I'm always Burning inside. I feel so EXHAUSTED - Sleep Just isn't Sleep or Restful EVER now...
It even then got worse during the day...
Was Blacking Out All Day After That... Even had 2 or 3 "Voluntary Naps"... Thing was it turned out the Isobars DROPPED To 993mb during the day [!!!] NO WONDER I FELT SO UTTERLY HORRENDOUS...[!!]
... It was also pouring rain, cold & there was 40-50mph winds, too...
Looking at Isobars falling to as low as 982mb...!!????!!!?!?!
So Was Facing MORE BlackOuts - EVERYTHING IS Just TOO MUCH PAIN Now... It's starting to get beyond distressing -- and the PAIN is an Easy 10+++ ...
That Popping Candy Going APESHIT... SEARING AGONY OFF THE CHARTS... The Electrocution Hedgehogs going Hell-For-Leather... It's Excruciating... Just Sensory Overload SUPERNOVA.
Ended up NOT being Lucid or Conscious for the most part of maybe THREE Or FOUR Days Straight - Stupidly Awful...
From being overloaded with feeling SO HOT... The Isobars hit ROCK BOTTOM - and everything suddenly went Cold... I Got UTTERLY Chilled, Nauseated From PAIN... BLACKED OUT Through Morning & Afternoon... Trying to make it through this evening - though not betting on anything.
Mam Made New Oils -- They Did Pretty Well, really. Took the spasming twitches and massive electric shock hedgehog spikes Right Down in the Fibro Points... and helped PAIN, Paresthesia & Breathing (removed boa constrictor with electric shock spikes from around ribs)...
The PAIN is still there, but it's down from a 10++++ SUPERNOVA to about a 9 now. Basically, that's some Progress.
And Yet... I have to endure the stress of physically actually getting into the bed now, which has obviously hurting a LOT more than usual since RollerCoaster Isobars turned up to play.
TOO MANY things are Horrifically & Immeasurably Effected by this Current Massive Fibro FlareUp... Not Least that I have to cancel BOTH Catheter Changes, this week -- Isobars, Weather Vs. Fibro FlareUp is No-Contest... I've had to push my Catheter Change Back to WEEK 5 -- and with that comes with the REAL Probability I am playing Russian Roulette With My Suprapubic Catheter... And I don't think that has EVER Happened Before.
It's ALL been SO CATASTROPHIC -- On My Fibro, on my Autistic Burnout, on my Mental Health & Pure Psychological Wellbeing... And Finally, Utterly ANNHILATED Long COVID into FUCKING FOREVER COVID....
Next week Looks Like there's a small change -- It's looking like it's warmer weather and High Isobars. It's going to Hurt to to and make it down to the Catheter Change-- but it's going to be a LOT Different than what we're going through RIGHT NOW.
Fibro's been Absolutely DEVESTATED
By This...
Actually...
SIX MONTHS OF ROLLERCOASTER ISOBARS
has been CATASTROPHIC.
Somehow, during this time... Managed to Start playing more of Mass Effect Andromeda... Doing So Certainly Makes Me Feel A LOT...Nicer.(?) After...
Like... I'm not stuck to my own skin anymore; that I'm Just Floating Inside It — or maybe like flowing fondu chocolate.... (?)
It's better. Calmer. Serene. Like I'm a Being again... Not a fireball of hell trying to rip out of my own skin...
The Floaty Fondu feeling is my OK or “Happy” (type) Place. Where Everything Is OK. Even when everything around me is not.
At Least I Am Kinda Feeling Better After playing Andromeda again... I have some part of me in the Floaty Place - maybe like a foot in it, or something...
... I REALLY NEED to Live There Permanently, Again.
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