Long COVID & BlackOuts

 Mam had to come and wake me -- probably with difficulty -- especially because I'd fallen forwards and was partially obstructing my airway, making it an obviously dangerous position to be in, and I was making "snoring" type noises of air struggling to get in and out... It's FREAKING SCARY... 

I was also having BAD Nightmares... Also FREAKING SCARY... 

I'd been out for at least an hour I'm sure - and about 9:34pm when she managed to rouse me.

Was Just Supposed To Be... Watching TV and eating dinner. Instead, I had to forfeit my dinner because it had been sitting out to not only go cold but to start getting ruined, because it was unattended to for about an hour[at least]... And I didn't get to watch my TV show.

I  also didn't get to do even one of the things I had wanted to do with tonight... It's Just... Destroying...

Souly Doggy also came in and thought his Aunti Lolli made a good bed, and lay down on her legs (he's been doing that off and on All Day, sleeping next to her)...

THIS MORNING... WAS JUST HORRID...

.....,Attention Flitting... Can't focus... Body WRONG -- even for Me... Not able to Focus At All - The Airy Nothing of ZoneOut in my Head is Driving me CRAZY... Know what I WANT To Do -- I want to Focus on Writing Faeh'rron stuff -- either books or the website... And ideally Both...(!!). But I get NOTHING... 

Lolli is very ill with her latest Diverticular Flareup... Really need to contact GP About This Too... But with WHAT Spoons to do so - and to DEAL with it all???

Well, been looking at Mass Effect Vids and trying to sort SOME Space for them on my system and dumping key ones onto YouTube.... Where I can view them and remind myself of what's what, choices, gameplay, etc, from any Device (...It's a really good, effective cloud service if you've got vids others might want to see as well...[!])

But that's it! Haven's even looked at Twitter...! And No Spoons for even Twitter is B . A . D ......

Becoming Destroyed...

This is what My Every Day has become with Long COVID on top of the Complex & Severe Fibromyalgia I have already contended with for the past Decade.

This New Edition to the BS Medical Conditions "Family" living inside my god-awful Raggydoll Body has only gone on to make "Living" -- Existing  -- Worse. Getting To Be Unbearable In A Way It Never Was Before ... Even when I was in So Much Agony I Was Screaming Every Day.

And Long COVID Was  BAD --- but what happened at the Hospital over Christmas with Lolli... Literally Destroyed Me. I was SO ILL at that time, and it Just BROKE -- SHATTERED -- whatever was left hanging on by a thread. 

If Bodies can have a Full-On Nervous BreakDown BurnOut -- Mine is doing it, Right Here, Right Now.