HARD Night and BAD Morning.... EXTREME BUZZING. BAD Eyes. EXCRUCIATING PAIN. Dizziness & Nausea. Disoriented & Disassociated.
Eyes are BURNING... Cannot Focus at all - using one eye only to try and manage to see things.
PAIN is ASTOUNDINGLY ATROCIOUS-- especially Injured Part of back. Creating nausea that can't even be helped or contained by Cyclizine.
... It makes my Brain SO UTTERLY UNBEARABLY FUZZY... I can FEEL the damned BlackOuts hovering over and inside my head, touching fingertips of Even More Pain - Very Specific Kind Of Pain - from them as it wavers there, waiting for the PAIN to finally tip over into temporary Oblivion instead....
Having to use sugar instead of Caffeine to at least try to keep lucid and conscious.... It's nowhere NEAR the Same though.... And Coffee can't be drunk the same because of Dysphagia, which is really annoying, too....
The BlackOuts have been the WORST of them for a LONG TIME.
Blacking Out... Blacked Out All Afternoon yesterday, and day before... Been Blacking Out BADLY for DAYS & DAYS...
Was supposed to be doing things to sort out going away... Instead Just... Blacking Out....
Too EXHAUSTED... Too OVERWHELMED.... Too SCARED....
~~~
PAIN is Through the ROOF....
Fibro Ears PLUS The Tendon going BATCRAP CRAZY -- Making the RIGHT Side of my face feel like I've been kicked by an ELEPHANT and had a JAVELINE SPEARED RIGHT THROUGH IT AS WELL....
By 3am... The Tendon Pain continues to be Completely RELENTLESS...
Haven't been able to eat, I can't sleep, or concentrate properly...
From my jaw bone, he the way up in a straight line through cheekbone, ear, temple and eye...
Behind my eyes tingled, buzzes, a squeezes in intense...
My ear feels Even MORE like it's struggling with a major infection whilst my jaw feels like I've been stamped, kicked & trampled on by giant horses... then Impaled By A Javelin...
"Anger" oils by Mam barely keps [just] the very sharpest edge off this time, whereas it usually / used to dull it right down to a 6....
The two sandwiches and pasta bowl I would usually eat are still just lying here doing nothing -- I can't bring myself to eat any of it.... Jus feel Sick, Overwhelmed, Exhausted, and the PAIN is Just AWFUL.... HORRENDOUS.....
I don't even get to sleep until 03:58am....
To try and see if it might help face as it the top of my back — Mam used Tisserand Muscle Ease oil bottle on my face this morning... and The Tendon virtually Disappeared Immediately.
It's entirely gone now....
She also uses JointAce on the Injured Part of my back, which takes the sharpest bit(s) off the tip of the iceberg.
Maybe I can settle down a little now both have been applied.
I'm re-editing Rachel's Story [Rumour In The Truth] because Lolli is actually Reading It. She's also acting as my Beta (aka Copy Editor/Editor)...
Been doing it through this morning, after Meds & during Thumper.
...Hoping to do that now, too.
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